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Ah yes, the reason I created this blog: to express my creative side. So here you go. Here you’ll find a rewrite by Nick Aires of a script I wrote for a motion comic.
Jeremy Gates is a financial wizard. He graduated from Harvard Business School at the age of 19. Now, at age 32, he lives a very plush and respected life. But when he receives a postcard addressed to “Lucian Darke”, it forever changes him…
THE CARDS
Created by Lewis Walker
Story by Lewis Walker & Nick Aires
Script by Nick Aires
nickandreychuk@hotmail.com
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
EXT. ANTIQUE STORE DAY
Establishing shot of Janice Tuckerman’s antique store. However, we’re not too tight on it, as we need to see the two stores next to it as well.
The adjacent store is a dollar store type place. If we can see through the window, there is a rack of BIRTHDAY CARDS, a display selling BASEBALL CARDS, and a display selling regular PLAYING CARDS.
The next store is similar to the Games Workshop stores, only instead of featuring the Warhammer fantasy card game, it is displaying a FANTASY ROLEPLAYING CARD GAME based on Black Halo’s WORLD OF CHI series.
An obsidian black 2009 Lexus SC 430 Convertible ZOOMS up to the sidewalk, then, with BRAKES SCREECHING, parks behind another car, in front of the gaming store. The convertible’s roof and all windows are down, and we see that the driver is JEREMY GATES. Jeremy is well dressed in an expensive suit.
The look on Jeremy’s face says it all: he is a man on a mission. He yanks the keys out of the ignition, rushes out of the car, slamming the door behind him, and hurries over to the antique store. As he walks, he reaches into his inside suit jacket pocket.
INT. ANTIQUE STORE DAY
Start TIGHT on the antique store’s doorway. Through the glass door, we see the blur of Jeremy striding up to the door an instant before the door is pushed hard toward us. Jeremy looks frantic, like someone who’s lost their wallet. He now has a POSTCARD in his hand that he is thrusting out toward us.
JEREMY
I need your help!
NOTE: The two sides of the postcard won’t be fully revealed until later, but feel free to show glimpses of the following details.
On the face of the postcard there is a processed stamp, and we can see the card is addressed to LUCIAN DARKE. But all other writing in the ‘to’ and ‘from’ and ‘message’ sections is just a bunch of unreadable squiggles (or the writing is obscured by shadows or Jeremy’s fingers or whatever).
On the back of the postcard we see an image of a Chinese Leaf Painting. Painted on the leaf is one or more ancient Chinese playing cards (originally known as money cards). At least one of the cards should feature a queen.
Jeremy rushes through the small, spotlessly clean, wellorganized antique store. There is a clear path to the glass checkout counter, which has a few antiques in it. There are expensive antiques spread sparsely throughout the store on glass shelving with mirrored backings. JANICE TUCKERMAN is standing behind the counter, and Jeremy is holding up the postcard for her to see. Janice is welldressed and looks like a high class museum curator. She does not look pleased with Jeremy’s aggressive entrance.
Behind Janice, standing in a doorway to a private area is JONATHON SMITH. He’s wearing a black suit and a scowl.
JEREMY
Colin McLeay said you can read the hidden meaning of this card. Says you owe him a favor. And
JANICE
And Mr. McLeay should know better. I don’t conduct business like this, Mister…
JEREMY
Gates. Jeremy Gates.
ON Jeremy and Janice, the counter between them. Jonathon glowers menacingly in the b/g, but Jeremy hasn’t even truly noticed him yet he came here to see Janice. Jeremy holds the postcard out to Janice over the counter, but she purposely does not look at it.
Janice talks to Jeremy like a librarian reprimanding a teenager for yelling in her library.
JANICE
Well, Mr. Gates, your rudeness is disturbing. You’ll need to schedule an appointment after Mr. McLeay has followed protocol.
JEREMY
I don’t have time for that this damn card is ruining my life! I have a check in the name of Janice Tuckerman for $10,000…
CLOSE ON: Jeremy’s hand thrusting the postcard into Janice’s hand. The card GLOWS with mystic energy as it touches Janice’s hand.
JEREMY
Just read this!
Janice reels back, gasping. She DROPS the card like it’s burning her. (NOTE: The card needs to fall onto the counter, not behind it.)
JANICE
Leave now! Get out. GET OUT!
ON Jonathon as he storms around the counter. Jeremy snatches the postcard, then backs up, eyeing Jonathon warily.
JEREMY
But
Jonathon gets in Jeremy’s face.
JONATHON
But nothing. You’re leaving.
Jonathon manhandles Jeremy, escorting him roughly back to the door.
EXT. ANTIQUE STORE DAY
Jonathon pulls the door open from inside and shoves Jeremy out of the store like a bouncer at a club disposing of a rowdy drunk. Jeremy is frustrated, but not struggling.
Jeremy storms back to his car and gets in. He slams the keys into the ignition, but he doesn’t start the car. He just sits there and stares at the postcard in his hand. On the face of the card, we clearly see the recipient’s name: LUCIAN DARKE.
ANGLE – side view of car, so that the storefronts are in the b/g. We see the SHADOW MAN lurking near the antique store…and slowly zoom in on him.
SHADOW MAN
Cards. They are the simplest form of communication. Their purposes seem obvious. They deliver messages…
Shadow Man guides us to the dollar store. His shadow hand motions eerily for us to look at what’s in the store’s window. We focus on a rack of BIRTHDAY CARDS.
SHADOW MAN (CONT’D)
They share clever sayings and pictures for special occasions…
ON a display selling BASEBALL CARDS.
SHADOW MAN (CONT’D)
They capture an athlete’s memorable moments…
ON a display selling regular PLAYING CARDS.
SHADOW MAN (CONT’D)
They provide the means for playing games of skill and chance…
Shadow Man moves on to the next store with the fantasy card game display.
SHADOW MAN (CONT’D)
They even allow people to pretend they know how magic works…
PULL BACK toward Jeremy. Shadow Man floats toward us, as if he’s about to confront Jeremy.
SHADOW MAN (CONT’D)
The list goes on. Cards are everywhere. But people take cards for granted…
Shadow Man reaches the car and abruptly glides around the back of it, narrating the whole time.
SHADOW MAN (CONT’D)
And why shouldn’t they? Most cards are inconsequential.
Shadow Man stops in Jeremy’s blind spot, and peers in at him. PULL IN on Jeremy so that the Shadow Man is hovering at the edge of our view.
Jeremy SIGHS and puts the postcard facedown on the passenger seat. We clearly see the Chinese Leaf Painting described earlier. Anxiety is etched on Jeremy’s face.
SHADOW MAN (CONT’D)
What the masses don’t realize is that random cards are imbued with special abilities,
their secret rarely detected, much less understood.
To access these powers, one just needs to know how to read the cards.
Jeremy lights a CIGARETTE.
SHADOW MAN (CONT’D)
Unluckily for Jeremy, he sensed the power within a postcard mistakenly
delivered to him and now… well, let’s just say he’s not who he used to be.
ON Jeremy. He pulls out a cell phone and punches in a number. As he waits for an answer, the camera swings around the front of the car until we’re looking at Jeremy from a side view. Shadow Man has vanished.
JEREMY (into cell phone)
This is bull, Colin. I paid you good money to help me figure this out.
You’re supposed to be the expert on these supernatural cards.
COLIN (O.S. VIA CELL)
I warned you not to rush over there. Janice Tuckerman lives
by the ancient rules. You’re too damn impulsive. That postcard–
As Jeremy talks, we PAN around his car from above. There can be other cars and pedestrians in the area, but there’s no one in his immediate vicinity. It should be clear that he’s alone.
COLIN (O.S. VIA CELL)
You’re obsessed, Jeremy. I’m starting to think you should just let this go.
In fact, I’m warning you!
We return to the SIDE VIEW, looking at Jeremy from the passenger side. Jeremy is holding the cigarette in his right hand and it has an impressive pile of ashes built up. He’s bringing it across his body, obviously about to dispose of the ashes out the open window. But despite this, he’s not looking out the window. We see that there’s no one near his car.
JEREMY
Look, I didn’t ask for this. Someone mailed this card to me for a reason.
BECKA suddenly appears, standing at Jeremy’s door, smirking. She’s wearing her school uniform. She speaks the moment she appears:
BECKA
Is that so?
Jeremy turns towards the window, startled by her sudden appearance. He jerks the cigarette away from Becka… and the cigarette flies out of his hand. (NOTE: The arc of the flying cigarette is such that it will cause it to land on Jeremy’s left leg. And most of the ashes fall off from the initial jerking motion and/or in the air.)
JEREMY
Huh?!
CLOSE ON the dropped cigarette as it lands on Jeremy’s left leg, focusing on the lit end which burns a hole through his pants… and sears his skin.
JEREMY
AHHH!
ON Jeremy’s reaction. He tosses down the cell phone and swipes the cigarette off his leg.
JEREMY
DAMN IT.
ON Becka. She leans down with her arms on the window sill, looking down at Jeremy’s burnt leg. She’s amused.
BECKA
Ooh that’s gotta sting.
As Becka stands straight up again, Jeremy eyes her appraisingly. Becka looks back at him innocently. In the b/g, a school bus pulls up to the curb across the street.
BECKA
Sorry if I startled you, Mr. Gates.
JEREMY (charming smile, flirtatious even)
Call me Jeremy.
(smile falters)
Hey, wait! How do you know my name?
JEREMY’S POV. With Becka close in f/g, we see the other seven members of Becka’s Group of Eight LYDIA, LARISA, MASON, COURTNEY, ETHAN, JAELEN, and KOBIE getting off the bus in the b/g. They are all dressed in school uniforms.
BECKA
We know all about you, Jeremy. We’re pleased you’re interested
in the cards, and we’ve even found the perfect card for you.
JEREMY (O.S.)
We?
PULL BACK for WIDE VIEW. Essentially a motion pinup of BECKA’S GROUP OF EIGHT the grand entrance of the CHILDREN OF THE CARDS. We are looking at them straight on. Jeremy’s turned toward them, but not the focus of the shot. (If possible, perhaps Jeremy and his car are slightly out of focus for a few beats.) Behind Becka, four to her left, three to her right, the other children cross the street toward us, walking purposely and confidently. (NOTE: Lydia should be on our far right.) Becka has a hand up, indicating to Jeremy the others behind her.
BECKA
Us. The Children of the Cards.
Lydia immediately notices the postcard and skirts the front of the car. Jeremy doesn’t pay any attention to her, as he’s still trying to wrap his mind around what’s happening.
JEREMY
(to Becka)
Who… what are the Children of the Cards?
Becka stares past him at the passenger seat with an “oh shit” expression.
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
EXT. ANTIQUE STORE – DAY
We pick up right where we left off at Jeremy’s car with Lydia holding the postcard and glaring defiantly at Jeremy.
LYDIA
This card is meant for me!
JEREMY
(sneering)
Funny, you don’t look at all like how I pictured Lucian Darke.
BECKA
(sternly)
Lydia, this is not the way we do things.
Jeremy turns his attention to Becka.
BECKA (CONT’D)
I’m sorry about Lydia, but we need that card.
It wasn’t meant for you, Jeremy, but this card is.
Becka offers a greeting card to Jeremy. It has a picture of a single rose in a crystal vase on it, along with the caption: “From the beginning to the end, you’ll always be the one.”
BECKA (CONT’D)
We could trade
JEREMY
(flustered)
I don’t want to trade. Just give me back my damn card.
Becka is momentarily at a loss for words and Lydia is not letting go of the postcard.
ANGLED VIEW from the rear right corner of the car, looking past Jeremy at the group of children crowded around the front half of the car. It’s a faceoff that Jeremy’s likely to lose. Despite their age and clothes, there’s something powerful, almost menacing about this group.
PULL BACK a bit further and we see Shadow Man lurking behind the car, watching them. The children are all focused on Jeremy, so no one notices the shadow.
SHADOW MAN These children can do things with cards that a normal person could never fathom. Then again, Jeremy has never settled for being normal. Still, no one is ever truly able to grasp all that the cards have to offer except those born into the cards. Something Jeremy could soon discover.
CLOSE ON Becka as her face shows she’s made a decision. She nods her head at Jeremy as she speaks to Lydia.
BECKA
Give it back.
Lydia hands the postcard back to Jeremy, pouting.
Becka places her hand on Jeremy’s shoulder in a friendly way, almost flirtatious. (If possible, show Kobie glaring jealously at the sight of Becka touching Jeremy.) Jeremy looks relaxed, calmed by Becka’s touch.
JEREMY
Thank you.
BECKA
Lydia is new to us. She hasn’t learned proper manners yet. Manners
are so important when dealing with the cards, as you learned
the hard way from Miss Tuckerman.
Jeremy pulls his shoulder away from Becka’s hand. He’s had enough of this. Becka is dismayed by his reaction.
JEREMY
How do you know about…? You know what? Never mind.
This is exactly why I need someone to read the postcard for me.
I need answers! So no trade.
Becka tries a new approach. She leans forward, subtly thrusting her chest toward Jeremy’s face. She smiles seductively at him. Jeremy purposely places the postcard into an inside pocket of his suit jacket, but his eyes never leave Becka.
BECKA
I really wish you’d reconsider the trade…
JEREMY
Okay, I’ll trade you…
Becka’s expression turns triumphant.
JEREMY (CONT’D)
…when pigs fly.
Becka is taken aback by Jeremy’s rebuff, but she quickly recovers.
BECKA
(taunting)
Really, Jeremy? “When pigs fly.” That the best you’ve got? I expected
greater wit from someone who graduated Harvard at 19.
JEREMY
(defensive)
Actually, advancing so rapidly through school left me
socially unpreparedWhy am I telling you this? I’m out of here.
ON Courtney. (NOTE: Courtney’s facial features should reflect an ethnic background that is at least oneeighth Brazilian.) She lunges toward Jeremy…
COURTNEY
Wait! What if we showed you what the cards can do?
A SNAKE appears in the air in front of Courtney. It’s a real badass snake a False Water Cobra to be exact. But as menacing as it is, there’s something very odd about it: it’s smoking a cigarette!
Jeremy jerks away from the snake. Even the other children appear surprised by Courtney’s actions.
BECKA
Courtney! What are you doing?
Courtney turns sharply away from Jeremy to look at Becka, her concentration broken… and the snake just fades away into thin air.
COURTNEY
He wanted to see a flying pig, but my family always
says “when snakes smoke,” so that’s what came out…
The snake has completely vanished. Jeremy looks confused and a little scared, like he’s thinking, “Where the hell did that snake go? I hope it’s not in my car!” He frantically looks all around the interior of his car to make sure it’s not crawling with snakes.
JEREMY
What the hell is going on here?
Jeremy ends his search, collapses wearily back into his seat, then stares angrily out at Becka.
JEREMY (CONT’D)
I’m leaving!
Becka smirks at him and drops the greeting card onto his lap.
BECKA
Don’t leave without this card… Like I said, it was
meant for you. It might even save you from some of the
trouble you’re gonna find.
CLOSE ON Jeremy holding the greeting card. He looks at it greedily and traces the outline of the rose with his right index finger. It GLOWS ever so slightly with mystical energy.
ANGLE ON Shadow Man lurking in front of the antique store.
SHADOW MAN
This new power card is almost enough to make Jeremy
forget about the postcard tucked away in his pocket…
Stay on him just long enough to make it clear that we’re going into Shadow Man’s POV, watching Jeremy and the children.
SHADOW MAN (CONT’D)
Almost.
Jeremy shoves the greeting card into his pocket with the postcard. He starts his car and revs the engine.
Becka, satisfied for now, steps back and motions for her friends to move away from the car.
Jeremy drives away, but we stay on Becka standing in the road, watching him go.
Shadow Man crosses directly in front of the camera, causing a…
BLACKOUT:
EXT. HIGHWAY DAY
Driving along, Jeremy is talking on his cell phone again. The hot summer sun is just starting to set in the b/g.
JEREMY
I can’t live like this, Colin. I’d swear those kids threw a
freakin’ cigarette smoking snake.
COLIN (O.S. VIA CELL)
What kids?
JEREMY
Never mind that. What matters is that my company’s board of directors
thinks I’m losing my mind… and I’m not sure they’re wrong. You gotta help me.
CLOSE ON Jeremy. There is sweat on his brow.
JEREMY
Please, I’m begging you.
COLIN (O.S. VIA CELL)
Okay, come to my house. You don’t realize… Just come to my house.
We stay TIGHT on Jeremy as he turns off his phone and lights a cigarette (always keeping one hand on the steering wheel). Throughout, his hand is shaking slightly, his nerves on edge.
We follow a tendril of SMOKE up into the air and it curls around to form a small cloud, which we go CLOSE ON, then we…
MATCH CUT:
EXT. COLIN’S HOUSE – EVENING
CLOSE ON a storm cloud. As we PULL OUT and DOWN, we notice that the ominous cloud has darkened the evening sky.
Jeremy is turning his car onto a long stone paved driveway that is surrounded by mature trees.
(NOTE: We CLOCK a MAILBOX at the end of the driveway that has “MCLEAY” stenciled on it.)
Jeremy pulls up to a big GOTHIC HOUSE and parks in the driveway. COLIN is standing on the porch, waiting for him.
Off to the side, Shadow Man appears amongst the shadows of the trees. He narrates while Jeremy gets out of the car and approaches Colin.
SHADOW MAN
Colin McLeay. Now here’s a real student of the cards. His
abilities aren’t as amazing as some of the others,
but he certainly makes the most of his talents.
Jeremy reaches the porch and shakes Colin’s hand.
SHADOW MAN (CONT’D)
Colin’s manners are impeccable. He’s respected by all his peers. Although
there are some who whisper behind his back that his friendship
with the outsider Jeremy could be his undoing…
We follow Jeremy and Colin into the house, leaving Shadow Man behind.
INT. COLIN’S HOUSE, ENTRYWAY – EVENING
We move quickly through the foyer into a hallway and are shortly at a doorway. The men talk as they walk, and Colin hesitates at the door to his study.
JEREMY
Thank you for seeing me, Colin.
COLIN
I’m not sure you’ll be too thankful after tonight, but I
will help you. I have someone you need to meet.
She’s the best help I could give anyone. She’s my secret…
INT. COLIN’S HOUSE, STUDY – CONTINUOUS
Colin leads Jeremy into the study. He gestures to someone standing across the room O.S.
ON Jeremy as he steps into the room, stops and stares past Colin, mouth agape.
We pan around and see that the person Colin brought Jeremy to meet is Becka. Becka is dressed in sexy gothic attire.
COLIN (O.S.)
Jeremy, this is Becka.
In a large window behind Becka, we see the trees being battered by wind and rain. It’s a full on storm outside, and the scene is punctuated by a lightning flash. And in that lightning flash, we PULL OUT to see that Shadow Man is lurking in the study, somehow managing to stay out of the direct line of sight of all three occupants.
Shadow Man gestures to Jeremy, who is still staring at Becka.
SHADOW MAN
The naive are the most interesting to watch those who
stumble into the complexity of the cards by accident…
Jeremy opens his mouth, but then closes it again; having decided against whatever he was going to say.
SHADOW MAN (CONT’D)
Those who ignore their mind’s pleas to forget the appeal of the cards…
That warning to toss the business card accepted from a stranger at a
convention or to put a birthday card into a box with all the
others received each year, never to be touched again.
Colin is looking at Jeremy with curiosity. He thinks Jeremy has been rendered speechless by Becka’s beauty.
SHADOW MAN (CONT’D)
But you can’t blame them. Once realized, the cards
are powerful. They bring a sense of meaning to one’s life.
Jeremy finally takes a step forward, but he is still unsure how to proceed.
JEREMY
You…
SHADOW MAN
For Jeremy, that meaning has just begun to be revealed. Let’s
watch and see how the rest of the cards unfold for him…
ON Becka’s knowing smile, we…
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT TWO
